Take a sad beer and make it beh-eh-eh-ter*

Gypsy Rose Lee serving the "Little Brekkie" on the far right.

Gypsy Rose Lee serving the "Little Brekkie" on the far right.

session_logoIt’s the Session, hosted by Beer at Joe’s who’ve asked us to wax lyrical about beer cocktails.  I blogged about stuff in beer quite recently.  It’s a delightful topic which undermines a good deal of beer snobbery present in the blogoshire (coining credit:Woolpack Dave)

Without getting all pedantic, what exactly counts as a “cocktail”– must it be another liquid added?  Another alcohol? If you add fruit (or, say, garlic) does it count?  And, is it still real ale if you’ve doctored it with Tango?

I must confess that though my mild has vastly improved with more time in the bottle, it’s just not very alcoholic.  I’ve taken to dropping a shot of whisky into each pint and it’s a winner.  I did not drink it from a martini glass a la Janet on Two Pints of Lager.  That would have been ace.  I would like to call this cocktail FREAKOUT IN A MOONSHINE DAYDREAM (oh yeah).  And now it will have to be one of those mythic drinks that people whisper about in hushed tones like Westvleteren 13, because it’s all drunk up.

With the success of FOAMeD, I feel I should branch out into other beer mixology.


The Power Skunk: Pacifico, Emergen-C (any flavor will do but acai berry is the best) and a shot of vodka.  If you find yourself in the Netherlands or other permissive environs, feel free to garnish with a fresh cannabis leaf.

Little Brekkie: Bud, clamato and minced Vicodin.

Three Wise Men and the Landlord: Goldschlager, Jagermeister, peppermint schnapps and some poorly-kept Timothy Taylor Landlord.

Green Flem ahem. Or, the Flaming White Fairy: Hoegaarden and absinthe.  Don’t forget to set the sugar cube on fire before pouring.

*Sung to the tune of Hey Jude.

**let it be known that I would consider drinking any and all of these, though for the record I would only drink the “Little Brekkie” when recovering from major surgery or other situations which would find me in legal possesion of controlled substances.

14 Responses

  1. Jaysis! You are terrifyingly good at this.

    • I’m bidding on a white lab coat on ebay and working on my maniacal laugh.

  2. Now that’s going WWAAAAYYYYY beyond the black and tan! I love it! And you’ve given me inspiration for a London Pride-Tango shandy! Yum…

    (Oh, and I forgot to add on the last comment well done for hitting the deadline, it’s a great feeling – my favourite part is when you type THE END for the first time, very satisfying before the long ol’ slog of editing)

    • Pride Tango– awesome. Now I’m thinking Apple Tango might work with Greene King IPA. The possibilities are endless!

  3. Now there are some beer cocktail ideas…. As the BeerNut said you’re a bit good at this. A missed calling?

    • Haha– thanks Laura. I will have to add it to my list of missed calls!

  4. Snakebite: bitter & cider.
    [Poor Man’s] Black Velvet: Guinness & cider.
    Black & Tan: Guinness & mild (or sometimes bitter).
    Punch: everything from the drinks cabinet, plus a few sliced apples.
    Oblivion: draught sherry from the offie @ 50P a pint.

    • 50p sherry–whoa, Rednev! What is mixed with it? Or is it so crazy it’s just considered Oblivion on its own?

      Do any of these come recommended by you or is this more an anthropological list?

  5. I have to say, the Flaming White Fairy sounds most interesting. Gah, so do the Three Wise Men and the Landlord, but the fairy has really caught my imagination. Not sure about he Little Brekkie, as I didn’t know what Vicodin was till now. What a sheltered life I’ve led! Then again, something has to be added to make me drink Bud again. But not clamato! 😀

    • I’ll be honest–it’s been many years since I had a clamato. I don’t really remember what it’s like. I don’t even know if they have the stuff here–and the alternative of making ones own is just not very appealing.

      The White Fairy does appeal to me– especially the issue of glassware. Though I would worry about ruining perfectly good absinthe with Hoegaarden!

  6. I’ve drunk all my suggestions in the past, although I’m not recommending them! The last time I had Black Velvet, I fell of my bike twice within 20 seconds, and decided I’d better walk home. The 50p sherry was when I was student; we had it before several pints of tank Greenall Whitley bitter in the student bar. The bitter was improved by having drunk the sherry first.

  7. […] from Impy Malting (great name btw), makes me pine for a FREAKOUT IN A MOONSHINE DAYDREAM and the Flaming White Fairy […]

  8. Do you think we’ll ever get back to the Blogoshire, Mr Frodo?

    • Haha, Bailey! I hope we have beer at elevenses.

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